Well, this post is coming from somewhere I never thought I'd be again...my home in Beaumont. There isn't much that seems to be helping my mind. I can't help but think being in an environment that wasn't mine was helping. I've been coming to my house in Beaumont several times, doing maintenance getting it ready to sell. I've done really well coming by and staying for hours at a time. I know many people will not be able to understand me coming back to the house, but I just don't know what else to do. I think that using my own washer and dryer, using my own kitchen and grilling on the back porch may be what I need. If it isn't, I can always go back to where I was staying. Hopefully, I'll have everything ready and can get it up for sale in a couple of weeks and get it sold. I'm going to ask quite a bit below appraisal, so I'm hoping it will move pretty quick.
I also start a new position at work Monday. It's just temporary for about 3 or 4 months. It'll have me behind a desk and that puts me way out of my comfort zone, but it pays pretty well and will help put me in another house. My current job has me outside about 60% of the time and I like being outside. I'm pretty sure the desk I will be sitting at in the new position will not even have a window. I still feel pretty fortunate that I was selected for the position. I put in for it awhile back to use the extra money for a wedding and a down payment on a home. I would have stepped outside my comfort zone for that girl anytime.
Something else that bothers me is when I see couples arguing. You never know what will happen. People say "don't sweat the small stuff" all the time and probably overplay it. But I do wish people would relax and truly enjoy who they are with.... whether it be a boyfriend/girlfriend or a marriage. I'm living proof you never know what will happen. I would do anything just to say "I love you" one more time. Every time she left the house, I would make sure I caught her to let her know I loved her....and it still wasn't enough for me. I probably wear my heart on my sleeve too much, but that's me. Don't think I can change that either.
I tried dating a little bit too over the past week. Don't think that's going to work right now either. I'm not ready for a relationship by any means, but hanging out with the guys all the time isn't exactly what I need either. Sometimes it's just nice to have a conversation with a woman. At least with the new job, I won't even have time to date or even time to think about it.
Seems like there is much more I planned on writing tonight, but my head is a little clearer right now. Probably best to lay down on the couch and get some sleep.
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