About two weeks ago, I started realizing I am truly happy again. As I said that to myself a few weeks ago, I immediately started questioning it! What all of the sudden, almost like a light switch, can make you realize you are happy? Then I started thinking, "well, I guess it's a temporary happiness." But as of today, two weeks after that initial feeling, I know it's here to stay.
After going through sometime like I went though, you always wonder what others think about how you are coping. I always heard people deal with situations in different ways, and progress through hurt at different times. I know I have cycled a great deal in dealing with my grief. Some days I would be as happy as I ever had been, only to just have a whirlwind of emotions when I would try to sleep.
I still miss my friend more than anything, and there is never more than a few hours that go by that I don't think about her.
Last year, I started to streamline my life. I switched to a different position at the real estate office, sold a few of my properties and started turning down more overtime at work. It seems now, I've replaced the time I spent in those areas, with other things I thought would be fun, but just turn out to be a lot of work too. I think it's time to really sit down again and do a "life check" to make sure I'm heading in the direction that I want to be. I need to find the things that really make me happy, and find which things are just so-so and eliminate them.
Two things that I truly like are 1) Nature and 2) Accomplishments. I love being outdoors and looking at scenery. I remember the first time I flew into Colorado, left the airport in my rental car and immediately saw the mountains up the road! Man that was beautiful! It was almost like I was having an out of the body experience!! The other thing I like doing is pushing myself for new accomplishments in things that I like! I have friends that try to get me to go to Crossfit because of the competitive nature. That sounds ok, but I don't like competing in the things they do. I don't know, hard to explain this one...I need to work on this one in my mind too.
That's enough for today...it has been awhile since I last posted. Tonight will be my 5th straight night to work, and my last one...ready to get it over with! I'm heading to the Hike & Bike trail in Beaumont right now to get a little run in.
