Religion & Children

Two posts in one day...this is a new one for me.  There is one subject that constantly is coming to mind, and I can't shake it.  I'm completely exhausted right now, but I hope this will help me clear my head.  Not much of this one will probably make any sense, because I'm running on almost no sleep, but here I go.  Backgrounds are always nice, so....I was raised Baptist, engaged to a Mormon girl at one point when I was way too young and married/divorced a Catholic.  I don't feel any association to any denomination.  I believe there is a higher power, and I believe that higher power is the god the Bible speaks of.  I believe there is a Heaven and that there is a Hell.  I don't have a personal relationship with God.  Death has always been a very difficult subject for me.  I'm completely terrified of the subject; I don't know what death means.  When I was young, the preacher would paint a picture of Heaven.  It would have streets of gold, everyone was happy and there was no pain.  I pictured the place kind of like a really awesome Chuck-e Cheese. 

As I grew older, I began to wonder 1)How do you look in Heaven? Would you look the same as you did when you left the earth, or maybe you would look like you did at the best point in your life? 2)Would you even have a humanly form?  Maybe we would look just like floating bubbles? 3) Could you actually talk?  If so, what language?  Am I going to have to learn a new language?  Maybe you don't talk, you just somehow know everything around you.  4) If Heaven is forever and you can't die in Heaven, will there be things there you always wanted to try that might have been too dangerous to try on earth? 5)If you loved someone (as a significant other) on Earth, and they passed and eventually you found another earthly love, how does that work in Heaven when you die?

I'm sure there are many educated preachers who could pinpoint scriptures that would answer some of these questions.  But I don't think it is really possible to know (unless it says flat out in scripture).  I just can't picture Heaven.  Hell, on the other hand, is pretty easy to picture.  I think it looks like Paris if it were on fire.

I'll have to talk more about religion when I'm not so tired.  I just read back over the last 5 sentences and they didn't really come out how I wanted.

Children.  This has bothered me for about the past 2 years.  I think I'm finally ready for kids, but I'm almost 32!  Maybe it is just coming from a small town, but anything past 30 is too old to start having kids!  And I know it would be many years from now before I could think about having kids anyway...so that'll put me around 35.  I've never had a problem with adoption, so maybe if I really do start getting too old, I'll just go that route.  Ok, too tired.  So much more I wanted to write and now I probably have even more on my head.  This post didn't go the way I wanted it to.